Blogiversary Guest Post: Kaisha from The Writing Garnet @kaishajayneh

Tomorrow I celebrate three years as a book blogger. It has been a wonderful three years and I love this community and I wanted to celebrate the community this week by asking five of my fellow bloggers to write guest posts to help me celebrate. I purposely asked these bloggers to write posts that reflected them and their blogs so that each post was unique and stood out on it’s own merit, and I think they have each done a fabulous job.

At the end of the post you will find a giveaway, this is my thank you to everybody who has been by my side through the past three years, whether you were there from the beginning or are a newer reader I appreciate your support.

Kaisha is a blogger so many of us know, she not only runs one of those blogs that we can’t help but to love. She has a four year old daughter who is adorable and she somehow manages to read more than pretty much all of us combined. She well and truly came to my rescue this week, jumping in at the last minute to fill a gap after one of the bloggers I originally asked dropped out last week. Not only did she jump in but she has written a heart-wrenching post, one that won’t help but to pull at your heartstrings. Thank you so much Kaisha.

‘What do you do if you see someone getting bullied?’

I knew that at some point in the future, I would have to sit down with my daughter and answer questions on bullying, but, what I never expected was for my four year old little girl, to calmly ask me, ‘Mumma, what do you do if you see someone getting bullied?’. Again, she’s four. She’s homeschooled. Why on Earth should she be asking that question?

My answer to that one is; why on Earth SHOULDN’T she be asking that question?

I was horrendously bullied from the age of five to the age of thirteen at school. I was then cyberbullied at the age of 15, and then I was bullied in every single job I had from the age of 17. I am now 28. The reason why my little girl even knows what bullying is, is because she has heard me talking about it. She has heard me express my voices on a topic which is still painful to this day. I’m not afraid to admit it, nor am I afraid to talk about a subject which NEEDS to be spoken about.

Recently on social media, I have seen people get bullied. I have stood up for people getting bullied, despite getting threatened myself as a result of that and having nobody stick up for me. Am I upset about that? Of course I am – I have been in the position where I get bullied and nobody fights my corner and it’s a horrific place to be. Which is why, despite many ‘don’t get involved’ comments, I chose to get involved because I couldn’t sit back and watch someone else get bullied and I don’t see how anyone can actually do that.

I will continue to talk about the aftereffects of bullying until I’m blue in the face. I will challenge anyone that bullies another person until I’m blue in the face. It just isn’t right. I am constantly reminded of what I went through and, whilst it’s easy for people to say, ‘move on’ or ‘forget about it’, when you’re the one dealing with the scars of eating disorders, sexual abuse, physical abuse and emotional abuse, all at the hands of bullying, forgetting it is incredibly hard. I want to forget it, really I do – it just isn’t that simple. The recent events on social media have brought all of my past to the forefront of my mind, especially as, whilst defending others, I was left out to dry myself.

So, back to my daughter’s original question; ‘What do you do if you see someone getting bullied?’. My answer to that was ‘you step in if and when it is safe to do so’. If you see your friends getting bullied or find them in the firing line to some nasty comments, don’t sit back and watch that happen because leaving someone out to dry due to bullies is the most horrendous position to be left in. I understand that people choose to not intervene due to concerns of fuelling the fire or similar, but the victim does not deserve to be getting bullied and they need someone in their corner.

The fact that my little girl already knows what bullying is, is of course rather sad. BUT, I would rather her know about a subject which can ruin people’s lives, break up families, scar people for life, so that she can help should someone need it. Victims of bullying are often afraid to speak out about it due to the high level of stigma attached to the topic, especially if they’re not taken seriously and told are told that it’s only ‘name calling’. Maybe it is, but undermining their viewpoint will make a victim less likely to come to you further down the line. It makes them more likely to hide away if the ‘name calling’ gets worse and threats are being made. Listen, observe, believe them and most importantly, be in their corner should they need you to be. Actions speak louder than words for most people, but for a victim of bullying, actions and words are as sharp as each other.

 

Kaisha’s Links

https://thewritinggarnet.wordpress.com/

https://twitter.com/Kaishajayneh

https://www.facebook.com/thewritinggarnet/

Giveaway

As a thank you to all my followers I’m giving away 3x £10/$10 Amazon Gift Vouchers at the end of this week. To enter just head to Rafflecopter.

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